‘I wasn't living with him and his kids’: 17-year-old kid moves in with grandparents after neglectful mother allows her boyfriend and his 2 children to ‘trash’ their room repeatedly without consequence

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Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 26, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

If you're part of the large fraction of folks who grew up with a stepparent, you'll understand where the 17-year-old in this next story is coming from. It's difficult to adjust to a new parental figure in such a formative period in your life, but it's doubly difficult when they refuse to give you the respect they expect you to give them. Save for the fact that their children don't respect your house or your belongings, and you've got yourself a disaster waiting to happen. The worst thing a biological parent can do in this type of situation is take the side of their new partner and their kids, especially if they are clearly in the wrong. Even kids deserve a certain level of respect—and if it's not given, they'll find a way out of the house quicker than you can say "You're not my real parent!"

This is what happens in this next story, and the 17-year-old kid leaves home for their grandparents' house after their mom's new boyfriend's kids repeatedly trash their room, among other unsanitary actions…

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    Cheezburger Image 10509148928
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "AITA for not moving back in with my mom and hanging up on her when she called me crying that she missed me and wanted me back?"

    My dad d d when I (17) was 11. My mom dated for a while but nothing serious until she met Dan. Dan's a single dad with two
    via Silent_Leading3954
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    kids (4 and 6) and after dating for almost two years they moved in together three months ago. I was cool with it until two incidents
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    happened in a week. First one was coming home to the kids in my room and my room was trashed. I'd made my bed before
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    school and they'd pulled it apart. My clothes were all over the floor. The 4 year old has ped himself and the evidence was left visible on my piles of clothes.
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    My mom had taken the kids out of the room and cleaned up the 4 year old but left my room as it was for me to clean up. I was angry. Dan explained it away as
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    they're just young kids and told me not to be mad. I told him to watch his kids and keep them out of my room. Mom told me not to be mad at anyone and these
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    things happen. I said not if they kept an eye on the kids. I asked if I should go in and do the same to their room. Dan told me I'm old
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    enough to know better. I told him to make his kids clean it and mom and Dan were quick to say they were too young to do that.
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    B BAR
    via Robin Battison for Unsplash
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    The same thing happened a week later only without the 4 year old J himself this time and this time they wrecked the photo of me and my dad that was in my
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    room and they broke the office chair I had in there. This time I lost it on my mom and told her that I was getting the f out of there and she could keep Dan
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    and his little brats to herself because I wasn't dealing with it. Mom told me not to be so rash and said I just needed to calm down. Dan stood in front of the
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    door to stop me from leaving. He said my mom's heart would break if I left. I told him I wasn't living with him and his kids.
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    I went to stay with my grandparents and my mom. expected me to stay at most a week or two and then come home or whatever. But I see this as
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    home now. Not having my room trashed or the bathroom all messy and gross from Dan's kids, has been so good. And I'm so mad about that photo. I had a copy but it wasn't the point.
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    My mom's only now starting to accept I'm not coming back. She apologized a few times but I ignored her. She called the other day and cried and told me she
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    missed me and wanted me to come home and she'd do anything. I hung up before she could finish and it didn't convince
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    me to move back in. Which sent Dan off on a rant at me over voicemail about how selfish I'm being and how I'm hurting my mom. AITA?
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    SonOfSchrute Dan needed a mom for his two tiny children, what he didn't want was an extra teenager to remind him what a parenting failure he and your mom are. She chose, poorly. NTA
    via SonOfSchrute
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    boundaries4546 NTA. All they had to do is help you clean up, put a lock on your door, and discipline the brats. Their plan of having a live in babysitter is gone.
    via boundaries4546
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    Cute-Profession9983 NTA Thank goodness you had a place to go, as you obviously had no respect or consideration at home.
    via Cute-Profession9983

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